Yet More Musings On The Sunsphere 2.0

I just wanted to add my two cents in about what Vic wrote about the sunsphere a few months back. I was mulling over what he wrote with my good friend and native Knoxvillian Martin while he was visiting me in Atlanta a little while ago. After re-iterating Vic's idea that, as silly of a monument as it may be, the sunsphere is Knoxville's brand, we both agreed. Seattle built it's space needle in a similar world's fair boondoggle, and the natives feel like it's just as big of a cheap joke; but what gets drawn at the beginning of every episode of Frasier? Damn straight--the space needle. What do you all know about Seattle's skyline? You don't know shit except the space needle. Ask someone from St Louis about the arch. They all say its a useless publicity stunt. But what do you think of when you think St Louis? Stop lying! You know the only fucking thing you know is the arch; and Nelly, maybe. But Nelly sucks, though. The arch--as useless as it may be from a functional viewpoint--is still pretty cool looking. Heard of a little thing called the Eiffel Tower? Guess why it was built? The world's fair, that's why! You think those whiny French liked it? Hell no, they thought it was ugly! As Frank Black once eloquently pointed out: "They didn't like it but he built it anyway." If you put yourself in the shoes of a nineteenth century Parisian, you can see that they were right--at the time, that is. But now, every year, the Eiffel tower is visual shorthand for Paris on a million elementary-school social studies projects world wide. When viewed in this context, we should thank our lucky stars the sunsphere was ever built!

Martin and I also brought up the legendary Simpsons episode where the sunsphere falls on their car. How cool is that? Sure, perhaps it was meant as a subliminal dis, but so what? (who among the Simpson's writers was from Knoxville, anyway? Sure as hell wasn't Conan. Please, if you know, post a comment. I'm dying to know.) The act of it appearing on the Simpsons makes it cool regardless, a reclamation that brings to mind how gays made "queer" a positive term.

While Martin and I were talking, I had an epiphany. If we can agree that the sunsphere--our personal feelings aside--is a positive thing for Knoxville overall, especially in the sense that, as Vic wrote, it is our brand and should be kept; then the next step is: how can we accentuate this thing and make it something we can be proud of? Here's my idea: Every night at dusk, co-inciding with full darkness, a crane carrying a spotlight on a circular track could arise next to the sunsphere. Once in place, the track would resemble a halo over it. As the crane reaches its apex, the spotlight would burst into light. This whole process would be dramatic, something citizens and visitors alike could watch with an-tici---pation!! Dads at Fort Kid could hoist their kids onto their shoulders and have a moment with their future Knoxvillians gaping in awe above them. Hell, they could blare the theme from 2001 over a loudspeaker! Why not go all out? It would be akin to the bell tower at UT playing "The Tennesee Waltz," (which I love, by the way). But, Ok, even if that bit was left out, the really ill part would be that the spotlight would proceed to circle the sunsphere on its track, turning the whole thing into a giant disco ball! Sounds corny? Think about it. The sphere is already there, and this way, our "brand" can be working for us day and night. I mean, hell, it couldn't hurt. If it happened to stimulate the downtown nightlife, so much the better. Compared to the cost of coating all the panes of glass on the sunsphere in bronze, the setup I describe would literally be a drop in the bucket--maybe, what? $20 grand? What if it came to 50, even 75 grand? For comparison's sake, the dome on the Georgia state capitol was gilded in two applications amounting to 103 oz of 23 karat gold. PURE gold (24 karat) costs approximately $50,000 at today's free market price. That's the price of a decent luxury car for a dome coated in almost PURE GOLD, people! Surely, a crummy crane and spotlight couldn't be much more--probably less, right? How much did Knoxville's taxpayers drop to build a new convention center right next to the existing, empty convention center right inside the same World's Fair Park? What if all those alleged conventioneers were stimulated into checking out the downtown nightlife as a result of the preceding? The revenue generated could pay off this project in, like, five years. Ever been to a club with no light show? Then the A/V nerd employee there finally fixes the problem and all of a sudden the club has a big lit disco ball in effect? Its a night and day change--that's what starts the party! Look--we've got a disco ball just sitting there. Building an engine to make the thing spin on its existing tower would be difficult and costly. But a set-up like I describe would be cheap! Why not have our brand work for us day and night? What? Because Knoxville is backward and fears change and probably equates having a decent nightlife/entertainment district with the devil? Oh yeah, you're probably right. Never mind.

PS: When I googled "sunsphere" to research this piece, the site glasssteelandstone.com has a rating for their entries. The sunsphere has an 80% approval net-wide. Still think we're full of it with the "branding" concept?

PPS: UPDATE 11/01/05 Apparently, my man Andy had this disco ball idea circa 2000 and I subliminally bit it from him. Sorry, dude. Also, as per anonymous' post, I now include a "Spaceneedle" link in the above text. Thanks to everyone who posted a comment. Big up!