Freddy Freeloader

So I managed to catch a Tweet from local UberBlogger Brandon Clarke:
"Uncle Sam, just stuck it to me, thanks freeloaders!"

I found it kinda funny, but then I thought: well, I didn't pay taxes, did I? In fact, I have all the necessary deductions, etc. being painfully extracted from my paycheck every month. This year, like many years previous, I got some of that money back. Am I a freeloader? Is my stay-at-home wife and mother of 2 kids a freeloader? Let's see.

I work at home, which means nothing in terms of workload. A light week for me is 50 hours. A typical week is 60+. A "crazy" week has me sleeping about 4 hours a night -- maybe.

In addition to my full-time day job I am learning how to program the iPhone, starting a business doing mobile development. I've been making the rounds helping others out in new business endeavors and forging some cool deals I think will some day amount to healthy businesses. Yeah, I do this when I could be sleeping, eating government cheese or standing in line for welfare, I guess.

I got a call recently from a friend of mine who is unemployed. He is collecting unemployment not because he is lazy -- he's one of the hardest working, most sincere people I've ever met -- but because he managed a metal scrap yard that went under due to the crash in the scrap metals industry. The particular business he helped manage also helped rehabilitate a number of drug users. The business was sound, but fell silent due to the economy. Anyway, I'm helping him get a blog and new career moving. We're both going to be lazy mooches off the government now!

And then there's my clearly lazy wife -- the one who pays no taxes and contributes "nothing" to society. Yes, she donates her leisure time to our nation's overabundant public schools. You know, the ones overflowing with parents who wish to help build a better tomorrow? Yeah, she's helping raise YOUR kids over there, and doing a great job of it. Good thing kids raise themselves, what with the internet and all. When she's not at the school she's busy around the house making sure our kids don't grow up to be wards of the state in some form or another. It used to be called parenting, and now it is called freeloading.

So thanks for the money, hard-working Americans! I used our tax rebate to pay some guys to come re-roof our house. I didn't spend it on Chinese-manufactured consumer electronics that we'd just trash in 2 years. I guess that's a bad idea, right? I mean, how could paying local laborers for an honest day's work be worthwhile to anyone?

Now, back to my McMansion to sup on the sweat of the proletariat.