Google's Ivory Tower

I've visited Google. Everyone seemed really nice. But trust me when I say that their Mountain View, CA headquarters reminded me of the Dharma Project in 2 ways:
1. There's a cultish sort of feel to the campus. Matching (free) bikes to ride, a sense of community and a voracious appetite for juice.
2. They are isolated from the "real world"

On #2 there I'd say Google has little to no capacity for understanding a site like dirtyert.com ... and I'm hoping their inability to understand the situation is what is currently holding up our AdSense account.

You see, I am helping a friend with setting up a blog -- something many Americans are turning to in this economy. Ert has no employment prospects where he lives. Even the jobs at McDonald's have a waiting line 40 people deep. It is bad, but Ert has a lifetime of amazing experiences and a great way of telling a tale that (I think, as do many of our old friends) could make him some coin.

But maybe not with the #1 contextual ad server, eh? AdSense, a service I once touted as the easiest to use, is a steaming pile of shit. We applied and never got an initial email. What does that mean? Well, it means you'll never be able to do anything with that account. Seriously. You can't ask to resend it, you can't even log in. Trying to do so yield this gem:
Account Not Active

An AdSense account does not exist for this login, as your application is currently in review. Within a week of your application date, we'll review your application and follow-up with you via email. Once you are approved to join AdSense, you'll be able to log in to your account and get started.

So... our account doesn't exist, but it IS under review. Huh? Further, it's been 3 weeks and still no follow-up. Until we get that initial email, we are totally sunk. Way to kick a man while he's down, Google. Do no evil means more than just running your shop in a semi-craptastic way, you know? Being "less evil" than the rest doesn't equal doing NO evil...

I plan to visit in June and kick a little juice-drinking hippie ass if I have to.

This just in: AP bungles embeds in beds of own tilling

This one is for my homies at WTNQ-FM

Dirty Ert is live

My friend Ert is out of work but full of stories. Check him out on his site, DirtyErt.com

Freddy Freeloader

So I managed to catch a Tweet from local UberBlogger Brandon Clarke:
"Uncle Sam, just stuck it to me, thanks freeloaders!"

I found it kinda funny, but then I thought: well, I didn't pay taxes, did I? In fact, I have all the necessary deductions, etc. being painfully extracted from my paycheck every month. This year, like many years previous, I got some of that money back. Am I a freeloader? Is my stay-at-home wife and mother of 2 kids a freeloader? Let's see.

I work at home, which means nothing in terms of workload. A light week for me is 50 hours. A typical week is 60+. A "crazy" week has me sleeping about 4 hours a night -- maybe.

In addition to my full-time day job I am learning how to program the iPhone, starting a business doing mobile development. I've been making the rounds helping others out in new business endeavors and forging some cool deals I think will some day amount to healthy businesses. Yeah, I do this when I could be sleeping, eating government cheese or standing in line for welfare, I guess.

I got a call recently from a friend of mine who is unemployed. He is collecting unemployment not because he is lazy -- he's one of the hardest working, most sincere people I've ever met -- but because he managed a metal scrap yard that went under due to the crash in the scrap metals industry. The particular business he helped manage also helped rehabilitate a number of drug users. The business was sound, but fell silent due to the economy. Anyway, I'm helping him get a blog and new career moving. We're both going to be lazy mooches off the government now!

And then there's my clearly lazy wife -- the one who pays no taxes and contributes "nothing" to society. Yes, she donates her leisure time to our nation's overabundant public schools. You know, the ones overflowing with parents who wish to help build a better tomorrow? Yeah, she's helping raise YOUR kids over there, and doing a great job of it. Good thing kids raise themselves, what with the internet and all. When she's not at the school she's busy around the house making sure our kids don't grow up to be wards of the state in some form or another. It used to be called parenting, and now it is called freeloading.

So thanks for the money, hard-working Americans! I used our tax rebate to pay some guys to come re-roof our house. I didn't spend it on Chinese-manufactured consumer electronics that we'd just trash in 2 years. I guess that's a bad idea, right? I mean, how could paying local laborers for an honest day's work be worthwhile to anyone?

Now, back to my McMansion to sup on the sweat of the proletariat.